He said . . . She said!

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
_______________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while
I sit on the sofa and fart.
_____________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Texas."

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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because
they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a
very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger........
Whoosh....immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

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