A special news conference was scheduled today in Tallahassee to inform the people of Florida of new state symbols. The changes take effect immediately and must be implemented by all official agencies.

The changes are as follows:

The Florida State Flag will now be a blue tarp.

The license plate symbol of two oranges will be replaced by a chain saw.

The new state song will be "Blowing in the Wind."

The state motto will now be "Oh my God, Here comes another one."

The new state beverage will be anything with an alcohol base.

The new state tree will be any that are left standing at the end of the hurricane season.

The new state bird will be the "whipper" will.

The new state nickname will be "State of Disaster."

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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