Let's see... how about some real things...

1.1) I won several school spelling bees in grade and middle school, but never made it to the state level.
1.2) It takes me a long time to post because I am constantly correcting my typos.
1.3) My picture has appeared in several publications which are read internationally.
1.4) I am generally good at anything I try... but never the best. (Jack of all trades, master of none.)
1.5) People never guess my age correctly. They usually think I am at least 5 years younger than I am... sometimes I am mistaken for a teen.
1.6) I will not kill anything if I can avoid it. Fly, spider, worm... if it doesn't bother me, I don't bother it.
1.7) I am not just an ass man.... I love breasts too. Butts just do it for me a tad more.
1.8) I have spent more than an hour trying to come up with this list.
1.9) I e-mailed Strongbad... but he hasn't replied.
2.0) I have fixed electronics equipment even though I have never taken any kind of electronics class.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these