Was this something you were concerned about before you first had sex when you saw him again? If so, it's possible that just a little bit of anxiety is causing your muscles to tighten up....likewise, if your issue from before (with the ex etc) is not quite resolved in your head, it could just be a little bit of tension that's manifesting itself during love making.

If you feel sure it's not linked with your head, but more of a physical problem, I suggest you talk to him about it, and ask him to go really gently. Experiment with different positions that give you more control over the movement, and that allow you to be more physically 'open'. Make sure he uses his fingers on you first and that you are totally relaxed when he enters you (I know it's easier said than done when you're anticipating pain, but try your best).

I find sex a little bit painful sometimes having given birth (I had to have stitches) so I find it's something I have to be more aware of than before, but the above tricks work for me.

Whatever you do, don't just grin and bear it.

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