I was "not pregnant" twice...then I got

A girl!

And the father?

THE POPE!
Oh, girl- that is just so wrong on so many levels, we don't even know where to begin. Thanks for bringing down the Catholic Church single-handedly.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney