I can't believe it! (vent inside)
 

I am not sure where to begin, so I am just going to type and hope I make sense. LOL

Cobalt and I monitor where our kids go on the net. We quite often visit the sites that they go to. Well, my lovely daughter (age 11 - looks like she is 17) goes to a particular teen site quite often so I decided to see what it was all about. At first I thought it was a pretty neat site. It is supposed to be just for teen girls and the topics vary from puberty to hot button issues like racism and gay marriage. I usually don't mind her going to sites because it does promote conversation between her and I - we have a pretty good relationship at this point in her teenagedom. (In other words, I haven't gotten stupid yet.. lol )

Anyway - the more I explored, the more agitated I became! Then I decided to find out more about who ran the site. I read some of the disclaimers.. the children's privacy act, some mature content on the site, if parents do not want their daughter to visit the site, it is up to the parents to block etc.. yadda yadda yadda...

I felt compelled to send the "staff" an email.. this is the email.
__________________________________________________ __________

I guess I don't know where to begin, so I am just going to type my concerns and thoughts in no apparent order..

I realize that teens today are growing up very different from when I was a teen - either that or I was very very sheltered. I monitor where my 11 year old daughter goes on the internet and when I saw she was going to unnamed web site.com I decided to check the site out myself. There are a lot of topics on the site that I feel are good for my daughter to read about because those topics are conversation starters for her and I. I do not always anticipate that she may need to ask me why some teenage girls cut on themselves, or that she may have questions about other things that I wouldn't even have thought about when I was 11 years old. So, in that aspect I am thankful.

Now, the parts that I am not thankful for. (You knew that this was probably coming - LOL)

I understand that as girls go thru puberty, their body changes, and they develop urges to explore their sexuality and....oh hell - I am not goint to be PC about this! OK - Are there moderators on the forums? There are some girls on there that are talking about putting peanut butter on their privates and making the dog lick them there until they orgasm! One girl did this with her cat and the cat ended up blind because it was alergic to peanut butter! On another post someone had a contest for best masturbation technique explained in detail! The winner got a special "doll" made for them. I can say that some of the 13 year old girls are very good writers. In fact, if I were a pedophile registered as a pretend teenage girl, I would be in hog heaven with some of the stories those girls posted about sex, masturbation, threesomes and even experimenting with the same sex.

The ages of these girls appear in their profile. Many of them are around the age of 13-16 and some as young as 11. There are girls on there that say they have bumps like pimples or boils on and around the outer portion of their vaginas - some are concerned that they may be a STD. Is there an adult moderator on there that could direct the child to a Planned Parenthood of something if the concern is such that this child can't talk to a parent?

Also, I keep telling my daughter to not give an email address or any other personal information that could direct an adult posing as a teen to her. There are many girls on this site who do not have that guidance from an adult in their lives - and I know that there is a disclaimer on your site instructing the girls to not do that, but they still do. I would hope that the statement made is not just to CYA just in case something happens to one of your members. I would hope, that in addition to providing an place for teens to express themselves, you are also creating a safe place for them to do so. From what I have seen, this site does not do that.

I think the forum is a good idea. There are lots of kids out there that do not have anyone they can talk to about certain things. But to let someone loose in this type of environment without the guidance of a caring adult is ridiculous.

OK.. I think I am done venting. Thank you for reading this email.

The web is dangerous as hell for kids. Glad you didn't just let it pass without expressing an opinion.

What Lil said... for sure! (((((Chey)))))) (hey couldn't resist)

Well, I guess I want to do more than express my opinion. I will protect my daughter from this site - it will be blocked from her. But, (and I know that I can't save the world no matter how hard I try) I feel as if I should report this to someone, somewhere - Albert maybe? I dunno. All I know is that this is a place ripe for pedophiles to start picking kids out. For all I know - there are hundreds of places like this. In fact, there probably are.

Tomorrow I am going to show my daughter the things that upset me about this place, and tell her why she is blocked from going there - she will be angry, but she will get over it.

These girls sure are more adventurous than i was at 13!!!

I guess i did live a very sheltered teen years.......

Are you going to broach that peanut butter subject with her chey? I can't believe it's young kids trying that..... naive i guess!

I really don't think I am going to get that specific Coaster.. :eek: I am going to show her some of the "mild" stuff and explain how I, as an adult, could become a member of this site and lie about my age. I am going to say - "Lets pretend that I am an adult that does bad things to kids and am looking for confused girls to become friends with and that I am pretending to be their same age." sort of thing. I want to scare her, but I dont' want to scare her. I just want her to be aware of how she conducts herself on the net.

When I had stepkids a few years ago, they were young enough that I could wave them away from the computer to work on their penmanship (er, I'm probably the last generation to ever use that word non-ironically).

I can't imagine having kids surfing the Web and MSNing and eek!

I think I'd be policing my kids' intraweb usage like no drill sergeant I've ever seen.

I'd just report the place as a probable paedophile jolly-spot and watch the shit hit the fan.

When the authorities had rounded up the rock spiders, the place should be fairly innocuous for a while.

It doesn't do anything for the girls who have been abused through it, and premature exposure

to some adult behaviour is abuse, but fresh damage can be delayed.

It's a worry.

Holy Buckets Chey!!! That's just flipping nuts!!!! I hope they take your email seriously!!!!

I hope so, too! Chey ... I think you really did do the right thing and I really don't think it's venting. Sounds to me like you're well in control of things! Hats off to you.

I'm sorry that you'll lose an informative resource for your daughter and a "conversation starter" for the both of you, but yes...it does seem like it's a bit more advanced than a child needs to be exposed to. Valid concerns, all of them.

Makes me glad my 11 year old was just looking at naked blondes on a bicycle.

i'd definately report it.


you're doing the right thing (((chey and cobalt)))

Did you know that in the State of Washington, the courts have actually said it is a violation of a child's privacy for a parent to listen to their child's telephone conversations or "follow" them on the internet?

Yet there is a billboard on the side of the road I travel home every day that says 1 in every 5 children are solicited on the internet by a sexual predator.

Go figure!

Good for you Chey! I know a mom who was in a similar situation of needing to remind a teen daughter about the dangers that lurk... and how not all people are honest and to be wary of people.

It's unfortunate, but they (teens and adults alike) need to remember that we wouldn't should our addresses as we walk down the streets, we shouldn't do it on the net either.

In the pursiut of open dialogue, often strange topics come up. I'm not sure I'd want my 11 year old daughter reaading that stuff either, though.

I wish you luck in your talk.....I just hope your daughter understands that you're less concerned about the open discussions of the issues, and more concerned about her safety.