My dog ate my Penis...
 

OK, you are out at night, somewhere you arnt supposed to be and you are running late and want to run a lot later....I need some good excuses...

During the winter it is easy here in IL, just blame it on the snow or a car that wont start...but what about when that wont work..


Excuses needed....and the lame or outrageous are welcome :D

Perhaps Locusts....or Alien abuductions always work to explain those marks on your ass :o

Fish attack!

I think got a bad batch of fish balls.

I was on my way home...when a group of ninjas jumped out from the shadows and attacked me.. Really, I'm lucky to be alive.. I dunno.. It could work!

I just have to run out for more Dorritos.































Oh sorry I'm late! The store was out so I had to drive north to get some.;)

"DON'T send the ransom!!:eek: I finally escaped."








no.... huh?:rolleyes:

I was coming home, really I was. But in a freak case of mistaken identity, I was arrested for the murder of a chicken farmer and her entire flock of birds.

“I was walking out the door to come home and four porn starlets stopped me and said they wanted to make a movie with me and had a room setup around the corner.”:rolleyes:


"OK…….. What really happened?":mad:

"I had a flat tire.":(










Never START with a flat tire story.;)

I got on the wrong plane:o

Your not gonna believe me I know, but it's the truth.......

I was driving home and noticed my fuel was low. I remembered passing the gas station a ways back so I turned the car around and got a fill up. I guess I was so tired that I started off driving again but in the wrong direction.....By the time I figured out what the hell I had done I thought you would be asleep or I would have called. I'm such an asshole and I am sooooo sorry!!!!!!!! :)

Not entirely funny, but my Dad actually MET a guy who had gotten on the wrong plane. Flying to Anchorage from LA....kept looking at his watch and saying "damn, aren't we in SF yet?" Dad just couldn't bear to tell the guy.

I'm just going for a long shopping weekend with Summer;)

I was streaking naked through this room, singing the YMCA, when...

<---regrets reading this post... :rolleyes:


;)


rabbit