Make a duct tape screen so he/she can't see me, spray ground behind me so he/she slips and breaks his/her ass and then if all else fails break their kneecaps with the hammer...

Reading when the power goes out?

spray WD-40 on the duct tape, then hammer a piece of flint to make sparks over the duct tape for a fire.

putting the book out because you got it too close to the burning duct tape?

Use a hammer to put out the flames.


Bored now that my book is destroyed.

use the charcoal to write your oswn book on the back of duct tape.

how to clean hands after hadnling charred duct tape?

Use wd40 to clean your hands.


I need a snack but can't open the jar of green olives, what do I do? :(

Hammer to break the jar...duct tape to put the jar back together when you've had your fill.

You lost the remote to the TV...again.

Bang hammer on coffee table to get females attenton, when she finds the remote she duct tapes it to your forhead and spays the wd-40 all over you so you slide off the couch and find the dam remote yourself!! :D

Cell phone battery died.

Beat it with a hammer. Your sick of it dying in the middle of your phone sex chat. :D


I'm out of town and don't have any of my sex toys with me, what shall I do?

wd40 up that hammer handle and go to town girl. :D


My car won't start.

fold duct tape over and braid it into a rope. hook one end to the front bumper and the other end to a tow truck and tow that piece of s**t to the shop. :D

Your computer has a virus.

Hammer. There are so many days that i want to smash my PC because it is acting up so i'd smash it and get a new faster PC

The water pump seized up in my minivan.

WD-40. If something stops, and you want it to go, you should always use WD-40. besides I like the idea of pumping massive amounts of WD-40 through a water pump.


Control freaks. Too many control freaks taking over the lives of my friends.

WD-40. Let 'em slide on by. :)

Weather stripping on our car is starting to come loose. :(

You're thinking duct tape, right? But I'd opt for the hammer. Knock out the windows, beat the roof till it falls off, then you have a new convertable and don't need to worry about weather stripping! :p

Toilet keeps running when you flush it.

Duct tape to make sure the water's turned off and stays that way. May get smelly, but that's what deodorizers and open windows are for anyway. :)

Kitchen range hood is dirty.