While I sympathise AND empathise with you Aqua (My daughter is nearly 13, and has her own laptop already!) This may be somewhat amusing - I thought so, anyway!

DM

That was damn funny dm! Thank you for the laugh! :D

Y'welcum mate...... anytime!!

DM

*Bump*

Doing a little catching up and ran across this thread.......

Aqua, don't know how things are going as far as your or other parent's concerns, but did you know about a site called xpeeps?.....it's a spin-off from Myspace that's x-rated. Most of the ppl at xpeeps have Myspace accounts also......i get the impression from sumpin i read on one blog at xpeeps that certain "adult" things were getting deleted from Myspace so these ppl moved to xpeeps with the adult stuff but still hang around Myspace, as well.

My 14 year old has a MS account. It's private and I make sure to have her show it to me at random times so that I know what she is up to. We talk a lot about being safe and I pray and fret.

i'm on Myspace and Xpeeps, but in no way are they connected, some people post their links to both but i don't.

i wanna keep that stuff separate.

Oh boy!

First there is ®Glo-Worm...then there is ®Leap Pad...and then MySpace?

They grow up soooooooooooo fast, eh?

As to the internet being a lesser fear then in your own backyard...that might be true elsewhere but from what I've seen on those "sexual preditor shows" the deviants are ALL over the internet and have a way of "picking out" the weakest to prey on!

From what I know of you Aqua, you are a caring, diligent parent with a good head on his shoulders as to the things to be leary of in this world! If any of that has rubbed off on your daughter then she'll be ok...I just know it!

Now...when she gets to college...let's talk again! *giggle*

((((((((Lixy)))))))))))

Thank you for your encouraging words!

Here's the update... as for right now, she is not using her Myspace (it's still there, but she's not accessing it) because the terms of use state that she must be 14 and she isn't there quite yet. She has her email and another Myspace type site she is using so it's not a huge issue at the moment.


Thank you to everyone who has offered advice and shared their experience. I appreciate it very much. :)

All my students just lie :p

DM, I have something like that letter that I read to my students every year, sort of an "it could be worse than a D in Chemistry."

Aqua, we've all been raising our kids since day one, and I'm guessing from what I'm reading here that most of us have been involved with our kids all along, and have pretty good relationships with them, and thats good because I don't think its a good idea to start getting involved when they hit adolescence (geez mom, you never followed me when I was playing doctor after preschool).

That being said, as parents we are becoming less important and less influential to our teenage children, which is perfectly normal because the peer group is becoming more important, after all our kids are going to work with, marry, grow old with these peers.

As far as I know, most coercive sex and most abuse is still carried out by someone the victim knows. I also believe that television sensationalizes everything nowadays, and implies more about things like MySpace than it can show evidence for. That doesn't mean that the net is safe, and I'm not suggesting it is. I think that a lot of our concern as parents stems from the fact we know that we are all probably lucky to have passed through adolescence relatively unscathed, and we probably all know someone who wasn't as lucky.

Which brings us to MySpace. I suspect that a lot of it is pretty harmless, just like most of the net, or most of the kids at my daughter's high school. The problem is that a kid can get to know someone over MySpace (or think they get to know them). Add to that the fact that all the bad apples, not just the local ones, can access the information on the net, and I can understand your concern.

Sooner or later our kids are going to find out for themselves though..

Like others here, I have my own account and watch her to make sure her MS is restricted to friends. I have talked about it with her and explained the dangers. We have the PC in plain sight. So far, all is well!

As a teenager, I wouldnt recommend delving too deeply into it. MySpace's administrators are making the site more and more secure every day.

The last thing a teen wants is for their parents to start asking them questions about it, and at the end of the day if your child has an ounce of intelligence, they are unlikely to meet someone from there anyway, and thus be fairly safe from predators.

As for the "In A Relationship" part, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont ask about that. If she/he is in a relationship, maybe its just getting started or he/she is testing the waters with a partner, when they are ready to tell you they will, dont go delving into it as we teenagers are very private about our personal lives and dont like involving our parents as much as theyd want.

Even if they have a MySpace account, they probably have accounts on other social networking sites also, there's little you can do about it really.

My mum was constaantly on my case about chatting online to unknown people. She used to tape things off the TV about the dangers of internet predators all the time. I never really convinced her enough that I was being extra careful, not giving out lots of details and things. When I did get close to one person and exchanged phone numbers with them, she obviously fretted again. But she appreciated that when I did finally meet up with him (3 years later) that I told her where I was going, and was taking 2 friends with me. I imagine there's a good chance she spied on me, god knows she still tries to today (though I'm much more computer wise these days, much better at covering my tracks... (sorry all you parents, but the day will come...))

My advice would be to educate them and make them wary, but don't overcrowd them. And if you're going to spy, make sure you only approach your kids if it's something really serious.

OMG!!! Don't leave the house!


click here

Aqua, just to mention, if it hasn't already been, that the 'In a relationship' bit might simply be her way of trying to ward off predators or youngsters her age from pestering her. To be honest, it's probably a good thing for her to do, as predators often target girls whom they feel are vulnerable/ lonely. Making out that she's not available is surely better than advertising the opposite?