I believe a hammer is in order for this one. :D




Helping to heal hammer wounds.

Lay out many strips of tape side by side so they overlap with the sticky side up. Then do the same thing over top of them with the sticky side down. Now you have a 'bandage' that you can tape over the hammer wounds after 'cleaning' them with WD40.

Stubborn geese that won't fly south for the winter

Lay a carpet of duct tape, lube it with WD-40...when they can't land because it is too slippery they will go south..those that still insist hit with hammer and enjoy for dinner.

Think this one got inadvertantly skipped, so here goes...

First take a hammer and bash in the front end of your car. Then make a simulated arm cast and neck brace out of duct tape. Then when you get home, limp inside the house moaning loudly. Inform your wife, who is VERY mad at you staying out too late and not calling that you were in a horrible accident and barely made it out alive. :grin:

Next problem: you're on an airplane and the pilot says over the PA that you're going to crash!

use duct tape to make a long rope that reaches all the way to the ground. then hang it out the door of the plane and let everyone climb down it before the plane crashes. funny how the mind works in a time of crisis!

your lasagna is overdone

Use a hammer to mash it up. Instant goulash. (Easier to hide the burnt cheese and noodles.)

You're skydiving and your parachute isn't opening.

wd40 to coat your windchapped lips so you can kiss your ass goodbye painlessly :p


hangover?

a hammer to each toe indivisually should make you forget your headache. you can spray w/d 40 on a plate then lick it clean. once you throw up your tummy will feel better

more than one person to kiss at midnight?

Duct tape them all so they won't move an inch...then take all the time you like kissing them properly.


Sick child who has the chicken pox ~~ and is scratching too much?

Duct tape their hands to together so they can't scratch themselves. Put a piece over their mouth so you don't have to hear them complain about their hands being tied. :D



Your man took to much viagra and now can't get the thing to go back down.

Lube that hard boy up with the wd40 and get back on here girl. Don't make me duct tape your ass to me. :D

:D



over cooked pasta????

WD-40 so it will slide down easier.


zipper will not stay up

duct tape that sucker up.


Hungry and you don't have any money.

Duct tape...use to to make your fingers even stickier...then steal someone's wallet


Avoiding a stalker?